Hurting Heart

I still haven't gotten used to blogging everyday..not like it matters because currently only like 2 people read my blog..which is okay..this is more of an outlet for me. I found that when I write it out...my head becomes a little more clearer. SO...if at times you read something and your like WHOA....I can't believe she said that.....Don't worry...it will pass. I write whatever I'm thinking and eventually I will figure things out. So on that note ...I'll actually write what I was planning on talking about. Steve is not doing any better. Hes actually is doing worse. I went to pick up his daughter yesterday and saw him for just a few seconds. He did say that he didn't want any visitors today...his wife said that he was having a really bad day. He was just laying there ...mouth open ..and looking like he was in terrible pain. I don't understand. I know God can heal him, but I don't think Hes going to. I don't think that's his plan. I've been trying to just accept this. Even if God might decide to heal him. I know that eventually he is going to pass away. Ugh, even writing that makes my heart hurt.

~B